I could say that I’ve spent my entire post-undergraduate career within the environmental education field, and it wouldn’t be an incorrect statement. Within the past six years (holy moly I’m old now) I have worked with children of varying ages, backgrounds, and needs, in the classroom and a variety of outdoor settings including nature centers, residential environmental education centers, as well as the east coast and mountain wilderness. However, I’ve really been working in this field since I was 18 years old – having first and second graders follow me around at summer nature camp. I grew up attending camp, and couldn’t wait until it was my turn to be a counselor. It was my first experience writing my own lesson plans and teaching kids by myself. Those summers in between my college years confirmed how much I wanted to spend my life teach and spend time with kids outdoors.
I realize now that I’ve basically written part of my resume. (Side note: I just re-vamped it with the help of the fabulous Lindsay McNamara, and would be more than happy to send it to you, simply to reinforce to you how great I am.)
I wrote the essay below a few years ago as part of my application for the Environmental Leadership Program. The mission of ELP is to support visionary, action-oriented, and diverse leadership for a just and sustainable future. ELP aims to catalyze change by providing emerging leaders with the support and guidance they need to launch new endeavors, achieve new successes, and rise to new leadership positions.
At the time, I was still working as an educator for NorthBay. I honestly don’t remember what the prompt was, I just remember immediately knowing what I was going to write. It’s raw. It’s real. It’s my heart.
I have the opportunity to serve an incredibly diverse group of students that come from all over Maryland. They come from the toughest streets of inner city Baltimore, to the rural countryside, to the wealthiest counties, and everything in between. Most of my students come from lives that are very different than my own, lives I am constantly grasping to understand.
I’ve served students who are familiar with poverty, not knowing where their next meal will come from or where they will sleep safely. Students with severe learning disabilities. Students who are at risk of failing out of school at the age of twelve. Students who have acted out and had charges pressed against them. Students whose parents’ divorce is causing their life at home to fall apart. These heartbreaking realities I encounter challenge me to serve and love my students well for the week our lives intersect.
My students, and so many of us, are underserved when it comes to spending time outdoors. We have become disconnected. We see nature as a place to visit and enjoy, but no longer see it as a part of who we are. Students need the opportunity to be outside in nature to give them the time and space to reflect on who they are and what is impacting them. As a society we are constantly multi-tasking, paying only partial attention to our surroundings and losing the ability to focus on the now. We are helplessly caught up in our daily routines, and lack the courage to process what is going on in our lives – because choosing not to process is often easier.
I believe connection can fight the distance. It’s imperative that everyone — especially kids — has the opportunity to spend time in nature. Nature gives us the opportunity to be still, which allows us to connect to who we are, and to the people and places around us. We need to connect, to care, before behavior can change.
We must foster connection to see changes in student’s lives, and that is something I am privileged to do on a regular basis. I love that I’m able to meet my students exactly where they are during the week that we spend together. Some weeks I can teach in depth about water quality and other weeks I try to make my students students feel comfortable in the woods. Each week is different as I connect with my students through the adventures we share.
If we foster connection among students to themselves, to each other, and to the environment, we foster caring about all of those different aspects in their lives. If we then encourage that caring to grow, students will be empowered to make noticeable changes. Investing deeply in connections will lead to positive transformation.
I’m posting this now because I’d lost this. I forgot that nature is a part of who I am; sometimes I honestly still feel the disconnection. I did not let myself be still in any sense of the word. I created more distance between myself, others, and nature – my usual refuge. I refused to process what was happening to myself as my mental health slowly took a turn for the worst. After an initially positive professional risk turned into rejection, I’d begun to question if I should even continue pursuing a career in this field.
Have you ever questioned something that is so core to yourself as a person? It’s the worst. It consumed me. The endless questioning of my professional and personal worth drove me to tears on countless occasions.
It took me months to get to where I am now, but I have renewed motivation to find a new job within this field that I love so much. I believe in the power of outdoor experiences because I’ve experienced it myself, and seen it in my students. I’ve seen girls who’ve never camped before master wilderness skills within a week. I’ve seen the joy in a student’s eyes when they catch a fish or macro invertebrate in the stream. I’ve met students who’ve experienced more hardship in their lives that it makes my heart ache, and still make others belly laugh. I’ve seen kids push themselves outside of their comfort zone time and time again, and learn about who they are.
I really do miss teaching at NorthBay. I wouldn’t be the educator I am today without that experience; even though it was an incredibly emotionally demanding role, it was also equally incredibly rewarding. I’ve been impacted so deeply impacted by my students and how there is a piece of my heart dedicated to them. I can’t wait to share more stories with you about how incredible they are, how they inspired me then, and how years later they are inspiring me now – knowingly or unknowingly.
Life in Color 
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